web/static get-fedora.html, 1.11, 1.12 index.html, 1.9, 1.10 join-fedora.html, 1.9, 1.10

Karsten Wade (kwade) fedora-websites-list at redhat.com
Thu May 24 09:42:43 UTC 2007


Author: kwade

Update of /cvs/fedora/web/static
In directory cvs-int.fedora.redhat.com:/tmp/cvs-serv8375

Modified Files:
	get-fedora.html index.html join-fedora.html 
Log Message:
Language edits all over the place; trimmed out a bunch of extraneous language, made passive to active voice changes, dropped distracting pronouns, and tried to reduce the hype-speech.  Other questions/observations sent to f-websites-l.


Index: get-fedora.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /cvs/fedora/web/static/get-fedora.html,v
retrieving revision 1.11
retrieving revision 1.12
diff -u -r1.11 -r1.12
--- get-fedora.html	23 May 2007 23:01:14 -0000	1.11
+++ get-fedora.html	24 May 2007 09:42:41 -0000	1.12
@@ -47,29 +47,29 @@
       </div>
       <div id="content">
         <h2>Fedora, For You.</h2>
-        <h3>Got high-speed internet?</h3>
-        <p>You can download Fedora via the web or via <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bit_torrent">BitTorrent</a>. You will find links to each below.</p>
-        <p>Please read through our <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/Download/ExportRegulations">export regulations</a> before downloading Fedora. <strong>If this is your first time downloading Fedora</strong>, you'll want to review the <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/Download#Understand">installation instructions</a> first before choosing one of the three download methods below.</p>
+        <h3>High-speed internet?</h3>
+        <p>Download Fedora via the web or via <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bit_torrent">BitTorrent</a>. Links to each are below.</p>
+        <p>Read through our <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/Download/ExportRegulations">export regulations</a> before downloading Fedora. <strong>If this is your first time downloading Fedora</strong>, review the <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/Download#Understand">installation instructions</a> before choosing one of the three download methods below.</p>
         <ul class="download">
           <li><a name="mirrors" href="http://mirrors.fedoraproject.org/publiclist">Download full installation media from the Web</a>: choose a mirror close to you geographically for a faster download.</li>
           <li><a name="bittorrent" href="http://torrent.fedoraproject.org/">Download from BitTorrent</a>: requires a BitTorrent client. <strong>Recommended for advanced users only.</strong></li>
           <li><a name="networkinstall" href="http://docs.fedoraproject.org/install-guide/fc6/en/ch-other-install-methods.html">Network Install</a>: Download a small boot image and download Fedora as you install. <strong>Recommended for advanced users only.</strong></li>
         </ul>
         <h3>Slow internet? No internet?</h3>
-        <p>You can request to have a copy of Fedora sent to you via postal mail.</p>
+        <p>Request to have a copy of Fedora sent via postal mail.</p>
         <ul class="download">
-          <li>You can purchase installation media for Fedora from <a name="media" href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/OnlineVendors">online vendors</a> or <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/LocalVendors">local vendor</a> in your area.</li>
-          <li>Can't afford the price of installation media? You may request Fedora installation media from the <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/FreeMedia">Fedora Free Media</a> program.</li>
+          <li>Purchase installation media for Fedora from <a name="media" href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/OnlineVendors">online vendors</a> or a <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/LocalVendors">local vendor</a> in your area.</li>
+          <li>Can't afford the price of installation media? Request Fedora installation media from the <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/FreeMedia">Fedora Free Media</a> program.</li>
         </ul>
         <p>
-        When you place an order with <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/SponsoredMedia">participating vendors</a>, you can elect to also sponsor the cost of additional media for others who cannot otherwise afford it (for example, people in developing nations.) Please consider participating in the <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/SponsoredMedia">Fedora Sponsored Media Program</a>.
+        When you place an order with a <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/SponsoredMedia">participating vendor</a>, you may also sponsor the cost of media for users who cannot afford it, such as people in developing nations. Consider participating in the <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Distribution/SponsoredMedia">Fedora Sponsored Media Program</a>.
         </p>
       </div>
     </div>
     <div id="bottom">
       <div id="footer">
         <p class="copy">
-        Copyright © 2007 Red Hat, Inc.  and others.  All Rights Reserved.
+        Copyright © 2003 - 2007 Red Hat, Inc.  and others.  All Rights Reserved.
         </p>
         <p class="disclaimer">
         The Fedora Project is maintained and driven by the community and sponsored by Red Hat.  This is a community maintained site.  Red Hat is not responsible for content.


Index: index.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /cvs/fedora/web/static/index.html,v
retrieving revision 1.9
retrieving revision 1.10
diff -u -r1.9 -r1.10
--- index.html	23 May 2007 22:43:29 -0000	1.9
+++ index.html	24 May 2007 09:42:41 -0000	1.10
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@
         Fedora is a Linux operating system that showcases the latest in free and open source software. Fedora is <strong>always free for anyone to use, modify, and distribute.</strong>  It is built by people across the globe who work together as a community: the Fedora Project. The Fedora Project is open and anyone is welcome to join.
         </p>
         <p>
-        The Fedora Project <strong>leads the advancement of free and open source software.</strong>  When you use Fedora, the leading edge of software created by the Linux community is in your hands.
+        The Fedora Project <strong>leads the advancement of free and open source software.</strong>  When you use Fedora, this software is in your hands.
         </p>
         <a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Overview">Learn more >></a>
       </div>
@@ -65,7 +65,7 @@
     <div id="bottom">
       <div id="footer">
         <p class="copy">
-        Copyright © 2007 Red Hat, Inc.  and others.  All Rights Reserved.
+        Copyright © 2003 - 2007 Red Hat, Inc. and others.  All Rights Reserved.
         </p>
         <p class="disclaimer">
         The Fedora Project is maintained and driven by the community and sponsored by Red Hat.  This is a community maintained site.  Red Hat is not responsible for content.


Index: join-fedora.html
===================================================================
RCS file: /cvs/fedora/web/static/join-fedora.html,v
retrieving revision 1.9
retrieving revision 1.10
diff -u -r1.9 -r1.10
--- join-fedora.html	23 May 2007 22:43:29 -0000	1.9
+++ join-fedora.html	24 May 2007 09:42:41 -0000	1.10
@@ -47,12 +47,13 @@
       </div>
       <div id="content">
         <h2>Join Fedora.</h2>
-        <p>If you want to take an active hand in making Fedora even better, there are many ways you can help. What role do you want to fill?</p>
-        <p><strong>Click on the role you'd like to fill below to learn more about how you can help the Fedora project.</strong></p>
+        <p>If you want to take an active hand in making Fedora even
+        better, there are many ways to help. What role do you want to fill?</p>
+        <p><strong>Click on a role below to learn more about how you can help the Fedora Project.</strong></p>
         <ul class="roles">
-          <li><a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Join#ContentDeveloper">
-            <img src="images/ContentDeveloper.png" alt="Content Developer" /><br />
-            Content Developer<br />(writer)
+          <li><a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Join#ContentWriter">
+            <img src="images/ContentDeveloper.png" alt="Content Writer" /><br />
+            Content Writer<br />
           </a></li>
           <li><a href="http://fedoraproject.org/wiki/Join#Designer">
             <img src="images/Designer.png" alt="Designer" /><br />
@@ -80,7 +81,7 @@
     <div id="bottom">
       <div id="footer">
         <p class="copy">
-        Copyright © 2007 Red Hat, Inc.  and others.  All Rights Reserved.
+        Copyright © 2003 - 2007 Red Hat, Inc.  and others.  All Rights Reserved.
         </p>
         <p class="disclaimer">
         The Fedora Project is maintained and driven by the community and sponsored by Red Hat.  This is a community maintained site.  Red Hat is not responsible for content.




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