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[OT] Care and feeding of Gurus was Re: RED HAT 7.1 VS WINDOWS SE 98

> There is a variant: Offer a sacrifice to the guru.  Fear not for your
> first born son.  What Linux gurus like is people sacrifying Microsoft
> certificates of autenticity or  burning  titles of Microsft certified
> engineer in the guru's altar.
> > > >  c) tell the guru the problem.
> > > >  d) give the guru your computer.
> d) Don't give, lend him your computer.

There are proper ways to approach the local computer Wizards and Gurus around
your establishment, unless they are yuppified and have MSCEs.

Don't bother to approach wizards unless you want the job done and no cogent
information spread your direction. Approach gurus if you wish to learn as
well as "make it work." Gurus are advanced wizards who understand how to
explain the secret workings to those willing to learn.

Regardless, before approaching wizard's or guru's office (hereinafter known
as "The Office", arm yourself with a box of doughnuts (sometimes bagels and
cream-cheese will work depending on the individual involved) and an easily
handled chair.

Knock on the door whether it is closed or not. Appearing in The Office
unannounced can have dire circumstances. Do not, however, wait for a
refusal to enter. Open the door, if needed, slightly so that you can shove
the box of doughnuts (or bagels) through the door. Hold the chair ready
to defend yourself as with a lion tamer.

If the offering is accepted use the chair for sitting as you explain your
problem. You have little time to spare so be brief. When the doughnuts are
gone you better be gone, too. It is not safe to approach or be in The Office
when the doughnuts (or bagels) run out. Personality transformations not
entirely unlike those seen on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" are not uncommon
when the doughnuts or bagels run out.


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